There’s a few lines in the movie Shall We Dance when Susan Sarandon’s characters says:
need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet…
I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re
promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things,
the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time,
every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I
will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be
I saw the movie about a month ago on
pay-per-view at my boyfriend’s place. While I liked it, I didn’t pay
much attention to it. But those few lines really struck me. My first
reaction was, “That’s a rather pessimistic view of love.” But the more
I thought and still think about it, the more true I believe it is.
are some nights when I think about the men in my life. In particular,
those who made a big impact on me, who shaped and formed my view of
men, romance, love and life. I think about those experiences which
dismantled those innocent and naive ideals I had. They have a page in
the history of my life. I can’t forget them even if I tried. And
believe me, with some of them, I have tried very hard to forget.
in those thoughts, I find myself wondering if they ever think about me
as well. I wonder if I ever occupy any spot in their heart or mind –
even for a moment. There are some I’d like to believe do. There’s one
or two I know I’ve left some sort of impression on. And there are quite
a few to whom I was just a fleeting memory.
The thought that
scares me is that some of those people who don’t ever think about me
are the very people who have meant so much to me.
because a part of the experience depends on what the other person takes
away from it. If he didn’t really care, it devalues and tarnishes the
memory. If the moments I shared with that one person weren’t so
important to them, then what does it mean in the end? Does it mean I’m
just a delusional girl? Does it make me pathetic? Because if all the
feelings and memories I have about you weren’t reciprocated – then
what’s my worth?
I don’t think that’s to say I rest my entire
self worth on other people. But it’s more to say I want to know I meant
something to someone. That there was meaning in that experience we had
I think it’s because we want to have an impact on some
one. We want to be remembered – preferrably remembered fondly. We want
to know we mattered to someone – just as much as they mattered to us.
We want an acknowledgement of our lives and a validation of our worth.