Trackers and Anonymous Stalkers
The other day, I was checking out my sitemeter,
randomly perusing through the “referrers” page and I saw a yahoo search
entry for “boobie emoticons”. Somehow that lead people to my page.
Hahahahaha. Turns out I’m on the 2nd search page. Look me up.
People commonly refer to the Internet as
“anonymous”. But more and more, I’m finding that it’s really quite easy
to be exposed and watched.
What with all the trackers for Xanga
alone out there, everyone knows who’s come by, how they got there, and
how long they stayed. We can have a list of how many times
everyone’s visited and from what ip addresses. Not even logging off is
suffice to keep your anonymity. (There are, however, certain people who
have managed to stay under the radar of these trackers, and I’d like to
ask you how you did it.)
I can attest to the popularity of these
trackers. Most of the time when I randomly click on a person’s page
without leaving a comment, I will almost inevitably have them click
back on my own page to check out who it was. Of course, I do that same.
I tend to check out how someone got to my page, and if it sounds
suspicious, like from a search, I go to check it out – especially
considering I’ve had a few people plagiarize my writing. Sometimes it’s
really outta curiousity about who it is.
It’s odd to see who
constantly comes by but never say anything. (I’m a friendly girl. I
won’t bite… unless provoked.) It kinda hurts my feelings to see some
people who know me in real life come by a few times and not even say
hi. (Of course, since I then know who it is, how come I don’t say hi
first?) It’s annoying to have people read my page and respond on their
own page indirectly attacking me. (If you got something to say, say it
to me. It’s fun to engage in debates) It’s disturbing how easily
stalkers can find you and keep tabs on you (No, I haven’t heard
anything from him since January). But moreso than any/most of this is
the detrimental effect these trackers seem to be having on creativity.
for one, find my writing has become inhibited knowing more and more
people read my journal. I don’t write with the full force of my
emotions, knowing all too well certain people read this page and read
much more into it than I intend to. I know if I really wrote about how
I felt, I’d hurt some feelings. I also have the distinct feeling that
people are judging me based on my writings, as if they have a clear
picture of who I am. So lately, I’ve been writing “safely” and
this in turn has resulted in a writer’s block.
The solution seems to be either
1) Screw it all and just write. Let people think what they want to think.
2) Stop writing altogether.
Get a new Xanga and try again to maintain a decent level of anonimity
(of course, my attention whore side will never let me get away with
4) Get rid of all my trackers and just pretend no one really stops by here.