Inspired by an MSN conversation last night with jim_my_d:
How do you know when you’re in love? What’s the difference between
chemistry, passion, lust and love? Is it something that happens
immediately or does it develop over time? Is the love you feel for
someone else valid if it ends? Does that make it false — as opposed to
our conventional notion that true love never dies? A friend,… I can’t remember who, said something along the lines of
Love changes because people change.
I’m not quite sure to what extent this is true. The one side of me (the
realist?) believes it makes sense. People change and grow and if the
love between two people doesn’t change and grow with it, it eventually
fades. It also shows that sometimes, no one is really to blame for the
end of a relationship. It just ends. This happened between me and my
first serious boyfriend. We just…grew up, I suppose. The other side
of me likes to
think that true love doesn’t end. That’s what makes true
love so rare
and valuable because it’s not something you find with every
“compatible” person you meet. It’s the idea of a “soul mate”, someone
out there who you’re meant to be with. What’s frustrating about this
concept is that it makes you hold out for this ideal of someone who
could very well be non-existant and makes you ignore all these really
great potential guys. There’s a quote from one of my favourite books
that goes: “You don’t know love when you see it. You’ve tricked something out with
your imagination that you think love, and you expect the real thing to
look like that” (Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery).
With the failing of every relationship, I think that there is no such
thing as real love – at least not for me. With the start of every new
relationship, I think that maybe there is real love – even for me. I
don’t know if this thing I’ve got going on with Y will turn into love
or if it’s just for now. I certainly am growing attached.
I miss you. Have fun in China, Hong Kong and Macau (I still don’t
understand how those places are different from China but okay. If you
say so…). I’ll see you on the 29th.
ps: He looks evil here in this photo. Evil looking men are hot.