Inspired by an MSN conversation last night with jim_my_d:

How do you know when you’re in love? What’s the difference between
chemistry, passion, lust and love? Is it something that happens
immediately or does it develop over time? Is the love you feel for
someone else valid if it ends? Does that make it false — as opposed to
our conventional notion that true love never dies? A friend,… I can’t remember who, said something along the lines of


Love changes because people change.

I’m not quite sure to what extent this is true. The one side of me (the
realist?) believes it makes sense. People change and grow and if the
love between two people doesn’t change and grow with it, it eventually
fades. It also shows that sometimes, no one is really to blame for the
end of a relationship. It just ends. This happened between me and my
first serious boyfriend. We just…grew up, I suppose. The other side
of me likes to
think that true love doesn’t end. That’s what makes true
love so rare
and valuable because it’s not something you find with every
“compatible” person you meet. It’s the idea of a “soul mate”, someone
out there who you’re meant to be with. What’s frustrating about this
“soul mate”
concept is that it makes you hold out for this ideal of someone who
could very well be non-existant and makes you ignore all these really
great potential guys. There’s a quote from one of my favourite books
that goes: “You don’t know love when you see it. You’ve tricked something out with
your imagination that you think love, and you expect the real thing to
look like that” (Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery).

With the failing of every relationship, I think that there is no such
thing as real love – at least not for me. With the start of every new
relationship, I think that maybe there is real love – even for me. I
don’t know if this thing I’ve got going on with Y will turn into love
or if it’s just for now. I certainly am growing attached.


I miss you. Have fun in China, Hong Kong and Macau (I still don’t
understand how those places are different from China but okay. If you
say so…). I’ll see you on the 29th.

ps: He looks evil here in this photo. Evil looking men are hot.

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4 comments
  1. I think I know what you mean. Everytime I think about getting into a relationship…I have my doubts about ‘loving’ that person. I guess I’m jaded from all the past negative experiences. I hope one day I will fall in love with someone. I’m idealistic and anticipate there is such thing as ‘real’ love. I don’t want to learn how to love someone. I want to be swept off my feet, and have my partner feel the same way. Is that too much to ask? Are my expectations realistic? Perhaps being a romantic will keep me single forever. I hope not.

  2. Anonymous said:

    I had a friend who was convinced his gf was his ‘soulmate’. When they broke up he couldn’t quite come to terms with it so I had to sit him down and tell him that the only reason he thinks she’s his ‘soulmate’ is because he wants to see her as his soulmate and chooses to ignore all the obvious conflicting matters in the relationship. Maybe true love exists not as an entity between two people, but only when two people are strong enough within themselves to allow the other to grow and embrace it.. does that make sense?

  3. Anonymous said:

    i don’t get true love. love, by definition, is true. otherwise it wouldn’t be love, it’d be something else. so…true love is just love.

  4. lol, speech didn’t exactly happen… my cousin thought i woudlnt’ be able to string an intelligent sentence together so he absolved my need for a speech, but during one of those games, he DID make me say a thing or 2 which screwed me over since i wasn’t prepared at all… good thing i learned to BS like crazy in all those english classes at university.. hahaa 😀

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